Tuesday, December 31, 2024
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You can never have too many pink fluffy sweaters. Consider buying some more today.
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You will wake up feeling a bit under the weather today. Fortunately you will receive an abundance of get well soon cards from strangers. Somehow this will not make you feel better, but at least you will know that people out there are thinking of you.
20 Apr – 20 May
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There is no such thing as a spoon.
21 May – 20 Jun
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A leprechaun will bring you luck today. Hopefully this luck isn't just a four-leaf clover hidden under a rock.
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Make sure you take the scenic route today, the earth needs more beauty in it.
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Realise an awesome ability for secretly deciphering foreign languages. Bonjour.
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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If someone suggests today that you listen to Kundalini rising chant music, do it.
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You will receive a mysterious package containing a talking cactus.
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Expect some confusion today. You will find yourself with extra potatoes but will have no idea where they came from or how to dispose of them.
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You will have a dream about performing surgery on an orange. When you wake up, you'll wonder if it was a dream about rebirth or just citrus agriculture. You'll probably never know the truth, so just enjoy the orange juice tomorrow morning.
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Your partner is the one who will put the salad on the table in front of you today. Do not worry, they will make it a lovely one.
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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You'll suddenly be overcome by a witchy urge to play Dungeons & Dragons.
19 Feb – 20 Mar
