Today's Wacky Horoscopes
-
When the clock strikes thirteen, your soul will leave your body and you will be a ghost. Sorry.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
-
You will decide to embrace your quirky side and dress according to your personal style, regardless of social conventions. Whether you prefer bright colors, unique patterns, or funky accessories, own your look with confidence. Who says fashion has to be serious?
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
-
You will wake up feeling #blessed, but it won't last long.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
-
Today will be a great day to try something new. Maybe a new type of food, or a new hobby like limbo dancing or bog snorkeling. Teeth whitening counts too.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
-
You will feel an unusual desire to organize your sock drawer today. Not just straightening it out, but implementing a wholly new organizational system, possibly categorized by color, thickness, or a made-up category like " Levels of Awesome."
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
-
After a long day's work, you'll find a golden moment to sit and reflect. Use this time to practice gratitude for the simple things in life, like having working limbs and access to the internet.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
-
Today you will understand the meaning of life, and suddenly all problems will be solved
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
-
Your trousers will all perish in a surprise wildfire
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
-
An Australian Leo can provide valuable advice, but always listen to your own intuition as well. In matters of life, love, and banana splits, you are the ultimate decision-maker.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
-
Tomorrow morning you will find yourself unexpectedly in a spaceship
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
-
Today you will wake up right after getting home from work
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
-
Don't talk to strangers. todays not the day to make new friends.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
