Sunday, December 29, 2024
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A bird will fly into your house today. It will have a message for you.
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Wake up, and enjoy your new daydream
20 Apr – 20 May
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You will experience deja vu today. But it's not just any deja vu, it's recursive deja vu, where you keep experiencing the deja vu over and over again, ad infinitum. Navigate this strange situation carefully.
21 May – 20 Jun
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It's important to love yourself. So if you want to go to the gym, go. Or get a burger. It's your choice!
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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A box of rat poison is actually a box of chocolates. Be careful when you open it.
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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An Aquarius in Canada will save your life today.
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Don't bother taking an umbrella with you today. It's going to be a bright and sunny day. Unless it isn't.
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Play make-believe in a library with a Virgo
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Nobody likes a seat hog. Whether it's a train, bus, or airplane, common courtesy dictates that you should occupy only your designated space.
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Your mailbox will become a portal to a parallel dimension where mail is delivered by unicorns.
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Beware Party goats plotting to take over the state capitol
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Go over a cliff with an Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
