Sunday, December 29, 2024
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A bird will fly into your house today. It will have a message for you.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Wake up, and enjoy your new daydream
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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You will experience deja vu today. But it's not just any deja vu, it's recursive deja vu, where you keep experiencing the deja vu over and over again, ad infinitum. Navigate this strange situation carefully.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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It's important to love yourself. So if you want to go to the gym, go. Or get a burger. It's your choice!
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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A box of rat poison is actually a box of chocolates. Be careful when you open it.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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An Aquarius in Canada will save your life today.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Don't bother taking an umbrella with you today. It's going to be a bright and sunny day. Unless it isn't.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Play make-believe in a library with a Virgo
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Nobody likes a seat hog. Whether it's a train, bus, or airplane, common courtesy dictates that you should occupy only your designated space.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Your mailbox will become a portal to a parallel dimension where mail is delivered by unicorns.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Beware Party goats plotting to take over the state capitol
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Go over a cliff with an Pisces
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
