Saturday, December 28, 2024
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Today you will realize the label shaped' doesn't exist, and that you've been mislabeling ovals as oblongs for all your adult life
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You will receive a surprise delivery of 100 rubber ducks.
20 Apr – 20 May
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Follow that cute dog and angry seagull. You never know where they might lead you and you could use the adventure. Just watch out for pigeon droppings. And dog slobber.
21 May – 20 Jun
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If someone mentions the word 'warranty' today, run. Run fast and don't look back. This is an omen of imminent danger.
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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You will adopt an unusual new pet, like a stick insect or a tarantula. They will befriend your cat.
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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A day of alignment: your chakras, your intentions, and your ability to resist impulse purchases will converge to beneficial effect. You will find yourself in just the right place at just the right time to resist a temptation...
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today you will realize to your horror that you're under the influence of a psychotic kitchen utensil
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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A new sound will become popular and you will want to listen to it.
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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You're going to be awesome today. Unless you're not. But even if you're not, you're still going to be pretty great.
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Today you'll discover that you can breathe underwater. Your next dive will be epic.
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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The letters of the alphabet will spontaneously begin to rearrange themselves today, causing words to lose their meaning and for spoken language to take on an enchanting new melody.
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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You will encounter a group of dancing penguins who insist on teaching you their moves.
19 Feb – 20 Mar
