Tuesday, November 19, 2024
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It's a good day to bench press your pet.
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You will receive a mysterious package containing a magic wand. Practice your spells wisely.
20 Apr – 20 May
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Find a fairy altar and allow nature spirits to influence your decisions
21 May – 20 Jun
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You will realize too late that an absolute monarch is still in thrall to the needs of his subjects when your hamsters start dying of starvation.
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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You will soon be receiving good news.
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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You will have the incredible ability to communicate with plants today. They will thank you for watering them and compliment you on your choice of pots.
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today you shall embrace your inner snail and take things at your own pace. Slow and steady wins the race, after all!
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You will discover a hidden talent for juggling watermelons. Become the ultimate fruity performer!
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Your ability to avoid small talk today indicates that you are evolving spiritually.
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You are destined for greatness in the world of casual insults. Your ability to deliver blistering comebacks with a deftness that would make a razor-tongued legend like Oscar Wilde envious will be unparalleled.
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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If you find yourself in a Lush store this week, resist the urge to buy a bath bomb shaped like a planet. It may look pretty, but it's not worth the mess.
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Don't be so down on yourself. A Full Moon means your spirit guide is with you, and everything will be okay.
19 Feb – 20 Mar