Monday, November 11, 2024
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If you don't have a dog, reconsider your lifestyle - adopt one today for a happier and more fulfilled life.
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Beware of mischievous garden fairies turning your lawn into a miniature golf course. Grab your putter and play along!
20 Apr – 20 May
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Sometimes, the best way to solve a problem is to take a nap. Today is one of those days.
21 May – 20 Jun
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Wait for boiled tea with an elephant
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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If you were a dog, you'd be a good boy today.
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Sometimes, you have to fight for what you want. Today, you have to fight for a rest.
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today, you will feel the need to create. Do not do this with paint, as you have no artistic ability whatsoever.
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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An owl will fly into one of your windows
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Time to update your CV with some very unique skills: sheep shearing, pottery making and sailing a small boat.
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Your bad luck has run out, consider playing the lottery. This message is sponsored by the lottery.
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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You have a special someone in your life who truly cares about you. Except that person is a narcissistic parrot who actually doesn't give a damn about you. But you already know that.
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Today you will go on a triple date with three very old ladies, who will each try to steal you away from your girlfriend
19 Feb – 20 Mar
