Thursday, October 10, 2024
-
There's a 50% chance your middle name is James.
21 Mar – 19 Apr
-
Today you will try a new diet
20 Apr – 20 May
-
Today you pretend that the toothpaste you're using is hot pink and tastes like cotton
21 May – 20 Jun
-
Beware of rogue kittens clustering outside your window plotting evil industrial espionage
21 Jun – 22 Jul
-
Today you will finally qualify to be a contestant on TV game shows
23 Jul – 22 Aug
-
Today you'll discover that you can breathe underwater. Your next dive will be epic.
23 Aug – 22 Sep
-
Today you realize how much you're lacking in the fear of heights department
23 Sep – 22 Oct
-
Today you will wake up and your first thought will be happy birthday to me.
23 Oct – 21 Nov
-
You can save a life today, if you choose to.
22 Nov – 21 Dec
-
You'll dream of a lovers meeting, and then meet them the next day.
22 Dec – 19 Jan
-
Your presence will have an inexplicable calming effect on angry mobs, and you will find that simply by showing up, you can single-handedly diffuse tense situations, causing crowds to calmly and quietly disperse without resistance.
20 Jan – 18 Feb
-
You will have a boring conversation with a coworker about topics such as the weather or last night's game, but it will ultimately bring you closer to each other.
19 Feb – 20 Mar
