Wednesday, September 11, 2024
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A glitch in the matrix will occur today, prepare yourself by wearing clothing that is reversible for when you enter and exit the matrix.
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You will dream of being a kite today, but remember that while kites enjoy the breeze, they are also at the mercy of it.
20 Apr – 20 May
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Not feeling well? Have a drink and sleep it off.
21 May – 20 Jun
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Today you will experience an intense psychic surge
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you'll hug a toilet. It will hug you back.
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Today you will get extremely bored, but also extremely horny.
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today you will decide you don't need to go to work, and will decide to stay at home instead
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Your toaster will develop a mind of its own and insist on making only smiley face toast for the entire day.
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today you will buy a T-shirt with a stupid slogan on it
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Today you will encounter a talking squirrel who will share their nutty wisdom with you. Embrace their quirky advice!
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Your bank account will suddenly have an infestation of fruit flies. They are a sign of good fortune! Don't worry!
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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If someone forgets your name, gently remind them--don't let awkwardness infest the relationship like moths to a sweater!
19 Feb – 20 Mar
