Wacky Horoscopes — Pisces, August 31, 2024

If you're feeling tired today, consider taking a nap. Sleep is the best medicine for most things (except maybe hunger).

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

You'll realize that you can better someone you know at draughts... hours later when you regain consciousness

Taurus

20 Apr – 20 May

Your favourite mug will gain the ability to predict the future through the patterns in your coffee. It's time for some divination!

Gemini

21 May – 20 Jun

You will experience an odd gust of wind from an unexpected direction today, wait for it and be prepared.

Cancer

21 Jun – 22 Jul

There are other ways to tell if a Leo is lying. They're really, really bad at hiding it. If you can't figure it out, they're telling the truth.

Leo

23 Jul – 22 Aug

Take a glass of water and put it near your bed.

Virgo

23 Aug – 22 Sep

An unusual recipe will catch your eye today. Don't be afraid to try something new and experiment with your culinary skills, even if it involves adding marshmallows to sushi.

Libra

23 Sep – 22 Oct

Today you will wake up to discover that all your floors are melting. Wear shoes.

You will have a strong desire to go swimming with whales today. Don't do this, for obvious reasons. This yearning will be satisfied by taking a dip in the local pool with your swim cap adorned with whale stickers.