Saturday, August 17, 2024
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You will have a dream about visiting the underwater city of Atlantis tonight.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You will find a hidden talent in manipulating bubble wrap. Don't worry, the bubbles are feeling liberated.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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You'll suddenly possess the weirdest talent for winning at games of chance.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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You will fiercely resist the temptation to lick the spoon today, no matter how delicious the batter smells.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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The conditions for extraterrestrial archaeology have never been better, and today you will find the hole you've been looking for. Whether it's a new career path, a spiritual journey, or a literal hole in your backyard, you're ready to excavate new possibilities.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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It's hard to find balance in life. That's why it's important to have an onion nearby.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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During the night you will hear voices and will wonder if they're coming from the walls
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You will receive a surprise visit from the Tooth Fairy, who will ask for a loan
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's when you know you've been reading too much astrological forecasts.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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The morning will start off routine, but things will quickly heat up when you accidentally drop your breakfast burrito in your shoe. Improvements to the footwear-food protection industry are urgently needed.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Aphrodite herself will emerge from the depths of the ocean to bless you with irresistible allure today. You will have to resist the urge to take advantage of this power, knowing that true love lies in the freedom to choose.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Today you will eat a whole box of chocolates and not get sick.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
