Wacky Horoscopes — Sagittarius, May 27, 2024

You'll have good luck today if you can spot a bee.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

It's time for a cup of tea and a Danish pastry.

Taurus

20 Apr – 20 May

You never finished your thesis.

Gemini

21 May – 20 Jun

Add TLC with an immaculate Virgo

Cancer

21 Jun – 22 Jul

Today you will have an encounter with a magical talking squirrel who grants wishes.

Leo

23 Jul – 22 Aug

At the dinner party, everyone will try to outdrink one another. Or you will confuse the white wine for ruining it.

Virgo

23 Aug – 22 Sep

If you play a brass instrument, now is the time to dust it off.

Libra

23 Sep – 22 Oct

You will experience an intense desire to climb a tree today. Ignore this impulse unless you are an actual monkey. Trees are for climbing, but also for respecting.

You will dream in the language of birds today, and upon waking, you will eagerly rush to your window to try to interpret the meaning of the songs you hear, only to realize that it was just a bunch of pigeons arguing over a scrap of bread.