Wacky Horoscopes — Libra, April 7, 2024

After years of work, you will finally be invited to exhibit at the Louvre

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Today you will find perfectly preserved confused mammoth meat in your freezer. Eat whatever's left

20 Apr – 20 May

Your horoscope today is interconnected with that of your lesser-known neighbor; you'll experience both joy and misery together.

21 May – 20 Jun

You have a Leo friend who is as sweet as candy. Today, try and sell that candy.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

Today you will receive a divorce summons from a lawyer you now find extremely attractive, but you're not married.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

If you close your eyes and listen carefully, you can hear the ocean.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

If you're feeling nervous, just remember: fake it 'till you make it. Unless you're an Aries, in which case, just be yourself.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

You will discover a hidden talent for speaking fluent penguin. Prepare for conversations with your tuxedo-wearing friends!

23 Oct – 21 Nov

Beware of mischievous garden gnomes plotting to steal your shoes.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

Today you will suddenly know everything about accurate fireworks displays

22 Dec – 19 Jan

Today you will try using your hands like feet when you walk

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Today you will learn that it's impossible to cross your legs in the same position twice in a row

19 Feb – 20 Mar