Wacky Horoscopes — Virgo, December 20, 2023

The phrase "and that's how you do it" will come in handy today.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Beware of rogue pineapples plotting to take over the fruit aisle at your local grocery store.

20 Apr – 20 May

Today you will realize it's the opening day of spring semester and you're unprepared

21 May – 20 Jun

You have to poop.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

You are at least 93% water.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

You will find a forgotten childhood toy that brings back nostalgic memories.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

You've never been to Canada, have you? Well, today's the day!

23 Sep – 22 Oct

Today you will experience an intense psychic surge

23 Oct – 21 Nov

If you like symmetry you'll love what's in store for you today! Everything you touch will be perfectly symmetric.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

Today you realize how much you're lacking in the fear of heights department

22 Dec – 19 Jan

Today you WILL feel like superhero. Your fatigue will melt away with your freshly brewed coffee.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

There is never too much garlic bread.

19 Feb – 20 Mar