Thursday, November 30, 2023
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Today you will accidentally turn your bathtub into a jacuzzi filled with spaghetti.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today you will decide to give up caffeine
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Have you ever wanted to go on a boat ride? There are a lot of boats near your city that will take you on a great boat ride!
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Today you will try on a cheap poisonous black cocktail dress. It will start to burn you, and you will leave the shop in tears
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you will get extremely bored, but also extremely horny.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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You will be visited by the ghosts of breakfast past, present and future today. They will either be friendly or just vengeful depending on if you have finished your breakfast.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Turn a simple tax audit into a great success
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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There is always a solution, even if you have to climb a tree to get it.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Have you been eating bananas? That's good for you, you know.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You'll suddenly gain phenomenal knowledge of jazz music, so you'll be able to accurately describe every famous musician in detail.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Your television will start broadcasting messages from an alien civilization.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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The meaning of life is:
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
