Saturday, October 21, 2023
-
Today you will discover you have the ability to manipulate reality with swipes of your hand
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
-
A new adventure awaits you, but first, you must answer the call of nature.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
-
Take an ionizing shower with a Virgo
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
-
Today you will surreptitiously check if travelers to Mars are slowly growing tails
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
-
You will receive some incredible news today. Just make sure you don't drop your phone while you're reading it.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
-
You've been feeling a little under the weather lately. It might be because you have caught a cold, or it might be because you are feeling a little down. I'm not really sure which one it is.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
-
Nope, I got nothing
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
-
Always remember to drink your ovaltine.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
-
Your favourite pair or socks will start rapping about your wardrobe.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
-
You will be audited by the IRS.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
-
Today you will learn how to do something new. It will be from YouTube.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
-
Learn horsemanship skills to impress a Taurus rider lol
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar