Wacky Horoscopes — Libra, August 29, 2023

Your favourite pair of socks will mysteriously vanish, only to reappear as a hat on a passing pigeon.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

What’s done is done.

20 Apr – 20 May

Today you will go on a triple date with three very old ladies, who will each try to steal you away from your girlfriend

21 May – 20 Jun

Beware of rogue umbrellas conspiring to take over the world.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

Today you WILL feel like superhero. Your fatigue will melt away with your freshly brewed coffee.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

Today you will find yourself inexplicably invited to a soiree

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Bend a circle with an air hostess

23 Sep – 22 Oct

You'll try to dye your hair and discover that your hair is already dyed.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

All of your candles are repayments for past debts. Enjoy the brief fluorescence.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

You're doing great!

22 Dec – 19 Jan

Today you discover a hidden talent for creating bloodthirsty zombies.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

There is an odd number of fingers on your left hand. I'm not sure if this is important. But it is weird.

19 Feb – 20 Mar