Saturday, May 17, 2025
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In the morning you will realize that your name is Mentos
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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There are ghosts in your bedroom.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will stare at a statue of Ben Franklin without noticing it
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Your cat will whisper offensive language in your ear.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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You'll realize that you can better someone you know at draughts... hours later when you regain consciousness
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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You will make a close friend today who is also a pillow.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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If you take a bus today a parrot will be the bus driver.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You still sleep with your teddy bear.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today you will accidentally turn your shower into a disco party, complete with colorful lights and a dance floor.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Your destiny is to find the perfect burrito. Just like the stars have aligned to bring you this divine prophecy, the ingredients of your quest are before you: savory meats, creamy sauces, and a plethora of crunchy toppings await.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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If you mimic a galloping horse in your sleep, you will have big dreams.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Embrace your inner child as you stumble upon a hidden stash of glitter-filled balloons during a routine closet cleanout.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
