Wednesday, March 12, 2025
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You'll discover your upstairs neighbour is a nudist. You'll become attracted to them.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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The world is your oyster, so eat it.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Cuddle with a golden haired Pisces
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Your keen observational skills will be needed today, so try to avoid gazing at your navel. There's a difference between being introspective and being unaware.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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You're currently in the middle of a 30-day waiting period for a hipster bar's loyalty card.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Those were not contact lenses you put in this morning.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Have you ever dreamt of being a professional fisherman? Well, today's the day you become a boat captain!
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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A flock of seagulls will serenade you with a rendition of your favourite song. Prepare to be amazed.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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If you're feeling crabby, eat a crab.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You will discover that pomegranates contain a secret message revealing the location of a hidden treasure, leading to a thrilling adventure.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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You are more likely to get a hug today than a cup of coffee.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Beware of mischievous garden flamingos stealing your socks and leaving behind sandals made of licorice.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar