Wednesday, December 18, 2024
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There is a journey to be taken, and you are the only one who can take it. Ask yourself, "Do I want to?"
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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All your friends are laughing behind your back. Kill them.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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It's hard to find balance in life. That's why it's important to have an onion nearby.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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If you don't like a book, just remember, you don't have to finish it.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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You will meet an attractive stranger today. Unfortunately they will turn out to be a vampire and you will have to avoid them at all costs to escape with your life. Good luck!
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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You will meet a nice bisexual
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Beware of mischievous garden gnomes stealing your freshly baked cookies. Guard them with all your might!
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Go over a cliff with an Pisces
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Visit a fortune teller
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You will have a dream about cows tonight and it will change your life.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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You can never please everyone, unless you're a melon, in which case you can please everyone by just being yourself.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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You will fall in love at first sight with a pizza today.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar