Thursday, December 5, 2024
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Today you will forget to close your front door on your way out, and you know that you'll have to hide from the police
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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A spider encounter will remind you of the importance of patience and persistence. Just like a spider carefully crafts its web, you too can craft your own destiny with careful planning and attention to detail.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will accidentally turn your car into a giant pumpkin carriage, complete with horses and footmen.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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From timeless classics to clever contemporary quips, your dad joke repertoire will be unmatched. Prepare to be the life of every party and the bane of everyone's humourless friend.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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You are owed a pizza. Order it.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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You'll be visited the ghost of your future self, who is very concerned about you.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today you'll accidentally turn into a mermaid every time water touches your skin. Just add water!
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Today you will discover a hidden talent for knitting tiny sweaters for garden gnomes.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Your new favourite colour will be bubblegum.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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At parties, attendance is optional, life is short
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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A mysterious messenger will deliver a coded message to you today. Don't try to decipher it; instead, use it as a decorative paperweight and move on with your day.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Today you'll find an eggplant that is so is so expensive.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
