Wacky Horoscopes

There are other ways to tell if a Leo is lying. They're really, really bad at hiding it. If you can't figure it out, they're telling the truth.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

You will embrace the challenges that come your way today, knowing that adversity is merely a hurdle at ankle height.

Taurus

20 Apr – 20 May

We will teach you never to lie and now you will discover an unexpectedly artistic vein deep inside of you

Gemini

21 May – 20 Jun

A stranger will smile at you today. Don't be afraid to smile back. Not every interaction with a stranger has to be transactional.

Leo

23 Jul – 22 Aug

Beware of the elusive pen thief who lurks in your office, leaving you perpetually searching for a writing instrument.

Virgo

23 Aug – 22 Sep

From cultivating a discerning palate to embracing the ritual of moderation, your journey toward mindful imbibing will be a source of tranquility and pleasure.

Libra

23 Sep – 22 Oct

A feeling of restlessness will overtake you today. Fortunately, this feeling will propel you to clean and organize your closet, resulting in a productive use of this energy.

Scorpio

23 Oct – 21 Nov

You will fantasize about quitting your job to pursue your true passion, asteroid mining. Unfortunately, Pluto extraction is currently illegal and space law is notoriously difficult to navigate.

Sagittarius

22 Nov – 21 Dec

Today is a good day to hug yourself, because why should you wait for someone else to do it?

Capricorn

22 Dec – 19 Jan

Don't wear those shoes with that belt.

Every time you glance at a mirror today, you will see a different face reflecting back at you. Don't worry, this is not a sign of an alternate reality invading your space, but rather a subtle reminder that you are beautiful in every single way.

Pisces

19 Feb – 20 Mar

Monday, November 18, 2024