Tuesday, September 3, 2024
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Today you will try on a cheap poisonous black cocktail dress. It will start to burn you, and you will leave the shop in tears
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today you'll discover a rotating cylindrical object in your garage, leading to an exciting chase through the past.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will accidentally pin down the secret of perpetual motion
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Embrace the power of mismatched socks; they hold the key to your quirky destiny.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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You will finally find the hole you've been looking for. Congratulations! Now what are you going to do with it?
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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You will have the urge to rearrange your furniture according to the principles of Feng Shui. Don't resist this urge, as it will bring you positive energy and a more harmonious home.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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A bat will fly into your home through the window today.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Today you will discover a hidden talent for speaking fluent llama
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Turn a simple tax audit into a great success
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Be prepared for an unexpected reunion with a long-lost childhood imaginary friend who has unfortunately become an expert in cryptocurrency.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Don't wear those shoes with that belt.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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You like ketchup more than you like people.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
