Monday, September 2, 2024
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Today, you'll have a eureka moment where you realize that life is made up of 85 percent pretending
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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A profound appreciation for the simple joys of life, such as a perfectly ripe watermelon, will be yours today.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will become a professional dart player.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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You will become obsessed with font choice when writing things today.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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You'll think of a great name for a band, but someone else will have already used it.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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For those of you who live in the countryside, do not fear. There is no need to take your vegetables inside tonight, they will not be afraid of the cold.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Sometimes, the best way to solve a problem is to take a nap. Today is one of those days.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Make use of your morning commute to listen to kazoo remixes of Wagner
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Be prepared for an unexpected encounter with a celebrity doppelganger. Take a selfie for proof!
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You will gain a new appreciation for jelly/jello salad today.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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If someone suggests a game of poker, be wary. Their tells may not be what they seem, especially if they're a fox.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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The office funny man is just jealous of your new shirt. Wear it with pride.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
