Tuesday, August 27, 2024
-
Your day will consist of several interruptions, each prompting you to choose between doing a load of laundry or completing a puzzle. You will choose the laundry, resulting in a very clean wardrobe and many unfinished puzzles.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
-
You will discover a new, more efficient way to fold your clothes. Unfortunately, it will involve dancing while singing the national anthem. Nonetheless, you will gain new appreciation for your clothing organization.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
-
The moon will be in the sky today. It will be a blue moon.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
-
Take your time.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
-
Today you will see the King of Denmark
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
-
First you find out that you've developed drinking water from thin air. Then you realize that it tastes like sour cream and onion Pringles.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
-
Your last meal will be tacos.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
-
Your lucky number is 73 today. Don't ask why, just know that everything happens for a reason, and that reason is 73.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
-
Your day will involve multiple instances of sudden and intense thirst. Seek refreshments wisely and often.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
-
Your luck at finding parking spots will inexplicably shift today. You will find that every spot you attempt to park in is Taken. Perhaps try riding a bike instead.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
-
Today you will decide to order Chinese food, and you'll make a great decision on what to order.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
-
You have a finite number of farts in your lifetime. Use them wisely.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
