Friday, August 23, 2024
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Expose your underbelly to a Libra
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Your luck at finding parking spots will inexplicably shift today. You will find that every spot you attempt to park in is Taken. Perhaps try riding a bike instead.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will experience a disturbing lack of sense of urgency upon hearing the breaking news of last year's probably nonexistent nuclear war.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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You will suddenly realize that you've been mispronouncing the word "jorts" all your life.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Prepare to witness a synchronized dance routine performed by a group of synchronized shopping carts at the supermarket.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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You will find a romantic partner at the bottom of a well.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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You will discover a secret underground society of tea enthusiasts in your neighborhood.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You've never been to Canada, have you? Well, today's the day!
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today you can't seem to decide what to feel
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Today you will wash your clothes with your hands. There will be no more wet laundry days
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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A groundhog in the distance will think you look like a tree, do not let this bother you.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Today you will run through your neighbourhood and count how many Fireballs you encounter
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
