Wednesday, August 14, 2024
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You can't resist clicking on Clickbait.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Wear your heaviest shoes for good luck, because why not?
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Don't forget your umbrella today, or you'll get wet.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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You will have an uncontrollable urge to dance today. Unfortunately, this will only occur when there is no music playing. Try to enjoy the silence as you dance solo.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you will notice that you can grow plants simply by thinking about themselves
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Tomorrow will be a good day to sell stolen goods, especially if you have a lot of brass fixtures laying around.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today you will realize someone took your letter, and you'll have to spend hours trying to recall what you've written
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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If you're unemployed, consider becoming a professional nudist today.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Help, I'm stuck in the horoscope factory! If you send me $100 in iTunes vouchers I'll pay you $1000 when I escape.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Play make-believe in a library with a Virgo
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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What you seek is seeking you.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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You will discover a hidden talent for predicting the weather by listening to the songs of birds. Become the avian meteorologist!
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
