Wacky Horoscopes — Virgo, August 4, 2024

You will experience an intense desire to binge-watch a reality TV show today. Do it. We all need mindless entertainment sometimes.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Set up some Swedes with your work colleagues.

20 Apr – 20 May

It is time to wash your hands. You will also need to wash your shoes.

21 May – 20 Jun

Today you will eat a delicious slice of pie and will start dating a bartender

21 Jun – 22 Jul

Today you will realize why people always laugh at your definition of "boring"

23 Jul – 22 Aug

You will receive a mysterious package containing a talking cactus.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Try out astral projection: Enter a deep state of relaxation to project your consciousness into other dimensions.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

Space lions are not to be reckoned with, watch out.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

Your hair will fall out but will grow back in a more glorious colour and texture.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

Today you will have to fill 2 minutes with continuous laughter. Expect to fail

22 Dec – 19 Jan

You'll get an urge to join the army. Sadly, you'll be rejected for being too nice.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

You will be asked to lead a team today. Choose your team wisely, as only those who truly want to can follow you into battle.

19 Feb – 20 Mar