Friday, August 2, 2024
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In social situations, you may find yourself displaying uncommon tact and subtlety. Use this power wisely, like a dolphin uses its sonar.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Don't try to fix your own technological problems if you don't know what you're doing. Instead, ask for help or look it up online. You'll save yourself a lot of time and frustration by acknowledging your limitations.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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A flock of seagulls will serenade you with a rendition of your favourite song. Prepare to be amazed.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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You are the chosen one.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Have you ever wanted to be a cat? Now's your chance!
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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You'll spill soda on your keyboard today. It is neither fatal nor catastrophic, but you will find the experience deeply inconvenient.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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If you've always dreamed of discovering extraterrestrial life, today could be a great day to start researching and learning about alien archaeology.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You're an onion. You have layers.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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An owl will come and bring you some happiness.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You will discover a secret talent for levitating small objects with the power of your mind. Start your career as a magician!
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Help, I'm stuck in the horoscope factory! If you send me $100 in iTunes vouchers I'll pay you $1000 when I escape.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Ever wanted to go on a blind date? Well, they're not all bad. Just remember to wear your glasses.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
