Saturday, July 27, 2024
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Let a quick-witted Aquarius suggest bedtime stories
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You'll get a craving for something sweet, and will have to satisfy it.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will experience a disturbing lack of sense of urgency upon hearing the breaking news of last year's probably nonexistent nuclear war.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Today you will encounter a mystical talking unicorn who will guide you on a journey of self-discovery.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you will accidentally turn your shower into a portal to a tropical island. Enjoy the impromptu vacation!
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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All your abandoned pasta and rice will finally have a chance to shine in an original dish you create today!
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today you will secretly lust over the house across the street
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Your normally sound judgment will be clouded by irrational impulses. Avoid making any major decisions today.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Your favourite pair of socks will gain the ability to teleport.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Ignore unconventional difficulties with Kayaks.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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In the realm of GIF usage, you will ascend to the rank of GIF Whisperer. Your ability to expertly select and incorporate the perfect GIF into any conversation will add a touch of humor and creativity.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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The daily grind is getting to you. Try including garlic in your breakfast to help alleviate stress.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
