Wacky Horoscopes — Sagittarius, July 7, 2024

Your bank account will suddenly have an infestation of fruit flies. They are a sign of good fortune! Don't worry!

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Beware of rogue tomatoes conspiring to create a salsa revolution in your kitchen.

20 Apr – 20 May

You will be asked to lead a team today. Choose your team wisely, as only those who truly want to can follow you into battle.

21 May – 20 Jun

Your hairbrush will transform into a magical wand, granting you the power to create fabulous hairstyles with a flick.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

You will discover a hidden talent for juggling watermelons. Become the ultimate fruity performer!

23 Jul – 22 Aug

Today you will play with a cat, and it will play back with you

23 Aug – 22 Sep

You will receive some lemons today, and you will make a delicious lemon pie with them.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

You will receive a red letter in the mail today. Do not open it. It will be an important message in the future.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

Expect an impromptu meeting with a tea leaf reader whose uncanny accuracy will leave you questioning the nature of time itself.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

Swim freely with leviathan dragonfish

22 Dec – 19 Jan

If you do not take care of yourself, someone else will.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

A profound appreciation for the simple joys of life, such as a perfectly ripe watermelon, will be yours today.

19 Feb – 20 Mar