Sunday, June 30, 2024
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A conscience is like a boat, you know you need one, but you're not sure why.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Kiss a malay Aries in a tree.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will realize you've never thought about this before
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Your love life will take a turn for the dramatic today. Expect a stormy confrontation with your partner over whether or not to use a coaster.Individuality is paramount.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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After discovering a mysterious package outside your door, you will embark on a thrilling adventure involving government conspiracies, cryptic clues, and an infectious paranoia that will bind you together with your roommates in a fight for survival.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Today someone will write a song about you. It'll be a fucking banger.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today you can't seem to decide what to feel
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You can't possibly choose between stroganoff + gingerbread cake.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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A chance to travel to a exotic location will fall into your lap, but you will decline due to an unexpected illness.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Today you will accidentally turn your sofa into a trampoline. Bounce away your worries!
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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You'll be visited by a squad of marshmallow soldiers intent on kidnapping your baby. Lt. Colonel Marshmallow needs your help.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Your lucky color today is cerulean amber.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
