Wacky Horoscopes — Aries, June 27, 2024

Trans people are hot. This will prove important to remember.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

People will call you a socialist if you order a set meal at a restaurant today.

20 Apr – 20 May

When you wake up today, take a few minutes to plan something nice for yourself. Then, get right back into bed.

21 May – 20 Jun

There's no point to this, but it's a good laugh.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

The sea will call out to you, and you will answer.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

Beware of rogue garden hoses conspiring to trip you.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Today you will miss your bus and will wonder how you ended up here

23 Sep – 22 Oct

Today you will accidentally turn your sofa into a trampoline. Bounce away your worries!

23 Oct – 21 Nov

A letter from Hogwarts is on its way to you.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

Rescue is on its way, hang in there!

22 Dec – 19 Jan

Embrace the joy of finding a hidden stash of bubble wrap that brings instant stress relief and oddly satisfying popping sounds.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

The ghost of a murderer will visit you today.

19 Feb – 20 Mar