Friday, June 14, 2024
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Today you will stop looking at clocks and then realize you've spent an entire week living in a completely different world
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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From sarcastic comebacks to ironic one-liners, your sarcastic arsenal will be brimming with lethal jokes that cut deep and leave a lasting impression.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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All cats are smart, but some cats are too smart for their own good.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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That elusive "they" say that all roads lead somewhere. Don't believe them. Some roads just end abruptly and leave you stranded.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you will be confronted by a bat after realizing you've missed the last bus home
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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You will receive a surprise delivery of 100 rubber ducks.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Tomorrow's lucky number is 111111.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You will find a lost treasure map hidden inside a bag of crisps. Embark on a salty adventure!
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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You will receive an unexpected windfall in the form of a scratch ticket victory. Use these funds to purchase cupcakes, as the universe is also telling you to eat cake.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Your favourite pair of socks will mysteriously start playing your favourite song whenever you put them on.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today you will forget something you cannot forget because you forgot to use the words not, don't, forget, couldn't, or never
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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It is said that when a narcissist looks in the mirror, they see something slightly different. You are not a narcissist. You are perfect just the way you are.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
