Thursday, June 13, 2024
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You should do some kind of artistic expression today.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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A pigeon will deliver a cryptic message to you today. It will be written on a scrap of paper and tied to the pigeon's leg with a strand of spaghetti. Unfortunately the pasta will be cold and limp by the time it reaches you.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Your toaster will develop a mind of its own and insist on making only smiley face toast for the entire day.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Trans people are hot. This will prove important to remember.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Expect an impromptu meeting with a tea leaf reader whose uncanny accuracy will leave you questioning the nature of time itself.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Today you will accidentally turn around
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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You will be caught singing along to your favorite song.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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It is time to wash your hands. You will also need to wash your shoes.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Don't worry, the pile of dishes in the sink is not as dirty as you think.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Your bathrobe will gain sentience and become your best friend
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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You should always talk to your plants.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Today you will experience an intense craving for pudding and will eat it for both lunch and dinner.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
