Sunday, June 2, 2024
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Adopt the wisdom of fortune cookies; your fate is intricately woven within those cryptic messages.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today you will secretly lust over the house across the street
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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From classic concoctions to innovative creations, your cocktail recipes will be the life of every party. Prepare to be revered as a mixology maestro and the honorary bartender at every gathering.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Always carry a bandana with you, you never know when you'll need to make a quick western.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you will decide not to be afraid of heights
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Your phone will operate better once you upgrade its software, but you'll stubbornly refuse.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Beware of mischievous socks that have learned to walk on their own. They may try to escape your drawer.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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A reminder that no matter how bad things seem, there's always a bright side. Sometimes we need a little nudge to help us see the good in life.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Check those tags for proper cleaning instructions, some items can go weeks without a wash!
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You will meet a soulmate today, but they will be a turtle. Despite the slow pace of a relationship with a turtle, you will find that quality time spent together is more important than quantity.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Your inner architect will be sparked by a night of wedging yourself into various shaped furniture.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Find out how quickly you can run up a flight of stairs without stopping.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
