Friday, May 31, 2024

A surprise birthday party is coming your way, but it will be a surprise for someone else. You will accidentally ruin the surprise, but your presence will still be appreciated.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr
Your favourite mug will gain the ability to predict the future through the patterns in your coffee. It's time for some divination!

Taurus

20 Apr – 20 May
A spaceship will appear over your home, and you will rush outside to greet the aliens. They ignore you except by giving you a large brown box marked "take me". Don't open it, as it is probably best not to interfere with alien agendas or redistribute their swag.

Gemini

21 May – 20 Jun
You will discover a secret talent for levitating small objects with the power of your mind. Start your career as a magician!

Cancer

21 Jun – 22 Jul
This is your invitation to the party. Today, any and all your pathetic excuses for why you haven't followed your dreams can finally be laid to rest.

Leo

23 Jul – 22 Aug
You are experiencing vertigo today, so take it easy on the stairs

Virgo

23 Aug – 22 Sep
A bird will fly into your house today. It will have a message for you.

Libra

23 Sep – 22 Oct
Today you will experience a surge in productivity

Scorpio

23 Oct – 21 Nov
Your alarm clock will start playing soothing lullabies to gently wake you up in the morning. Embrace the musical mornings!

Sagittarius

22 Nov – 21 Dec
Today you will find a lost treasure map hidden inside a jar of pickles. Embark on a briny adventure!

Capricorn

22 Dec – 19 Jan
In ancient cultures, you were seen as the sun and the moon. In modern times, you are seen as a shadowy figure, often in the background, rarely in the spotlight. Today, you can change this by making a big scene in a restaurant.

Aquarius

20 Jan – 18 Feb
Steer clear of escalators; they have a mind of their own today, and it's not in your favor.

Pisces

19 Feb – 20 Mar