Thursday, May 30, 2024
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Beware of mischievous badgers swapping your shampoo with hot sauce.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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For an added bonus to your day, make sure you take a picture of yourself before leaving the house.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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A groundhog in the distance will think you look like a tree, do not let this bother you.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Your mailbox will become a portal to a parallel dimension where mail is delivered by unicorns.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you will take a self-assessment test. The results will surprise you. They will also be wrong.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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You will make a close friend today who is also a pillow.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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There is something you need to let go of. The thing you need to let go of is your attachment to this prediction.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Today would be a great day to start a journal. Journals are not just for teenage girls. Or maybe they are, and you are finally embracing your inner teenage girl? Embrace it fully.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Spend time with a Crab, they could use the company.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You will accidentally turn your alarm clock into a time machine.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today, a reckless rebel will cross your path. Avoid making eye contact to avoid trouble.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Make use of your morning commute to listen to kazoo remixes of Wagner
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
