Tuesday, May 28, 2024
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The cow has been drinking.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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When you get home today, you will find an angry swarm of bees has made a home in your mailbox. Don't try to rescue the mail, just wait for the bees to leave on their own.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will be mistaken for a famous celebrity and asked for autographs.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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If you do not take care of yourself, someone else will.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you will accidentally turn your bike into a time machine
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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You'll think of a great name for a band, but someone else will have already used it.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today, you'll stumble upon an assortment of oddly shaped vegetables at the grocery store, inspiring creative cooking experiments.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Today you will realize you have been walking around all day with your fly down. Reward yourself with a donut for being you.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today you realize how much you're lacking in the fear of heights department
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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If you don't have anything nice to say to yourself, then don't say anything at all.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today you have a genuine fear of muffins.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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You will find an extremely low IQ alien probe lying in your own backyard, and you will abandon it
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
