Friday, May 24, 2024

A beloved pet will unexpectedly display an uncanny ability today, such as fetching your mail or predicting the weather. This is a sign that you are blessed with an extraordinary entourage.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr
You will have a strange urge to dance today. Fortunately for you, your rhythm has gone on vacation and cannot be located. Extraordinarily bad dancing will occur regardless.

Taurus

20 Apr – 20 May
No one knows the name of a shape that looks like a hook.

Gemini

21 May – 20 Jun
Today you will play with a cat, and it will play back with you

Cancer

21 Jun – 22 Jul
Your neighbours will move out today, you'll finally get some peace and quiet, until tomorrow when the new neighbours arrive.

Leo

23 Jul – 22 Aug
Your neighbours will move out today, you'll finally get some peace and quiet, until tomorrow when the new neighbours arrive.

Virgo

23 Aug – 22 Sep
You will find a dead beetle in your coffee today. Throw it out and get a new one. Try to enjoy your day, dead beetle vibes are not contagious.

Libra

23 Sep – 22 Oct
If you touch a fish in your sleep, it means you'll meet your soul mate by water

Scorpio

23 Oct – 21 Nov
Wear red and people will be confused, wear blue and they'll be intrigued, but avoid purple at all costs

Sagittarius

22 Nov – 21 Dec
Feel the speed of a light-bringer Libra

Capricorn

22 Dec – 19 Jan
A series of coincidences will lead you to a street corner where a troupe of tap-dancing pigeons awaits your applause.

Aquarius

20 Jan – 18 Feb
Today you will rise above the Earth's atmosphere; you will fly in a spaceship

Pisces

19 Feb – 20 Mar