Saturday, May 18, 2024
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Today you will realize there's a secret society of people with extremely long arms who swap paw prints among themselves
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You think today you may have anger for fri-yay
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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The stars are aligning for you to start that podcast you've been thinking about.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Someone will confess their love for you today. It will be a platypus with a hat.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Shake hands with the Lord of England
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Today you will watch the sun rise, and will somehow realize that you don't want it ever to set again
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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You have a unique talent! Use it to win the goldfish lottery.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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When you were young, your bedroom was lined with posters of the Spice Girls. You will feel the urge to create a fever dream playlist of their music today.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today you will have the power of invisibility. Use it wisely and escape your enemies, but be careful not to lose yourself in the process.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Everyone has a secret admirer. Only some have secret enemies.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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It's hard to be humble when you're an Aries.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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You should always talk to your plants.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
