Friday, May 10, 2024

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  An enigmatic stranger will profess their love for you online, but will abruptly cease all communication upon disclosure of your gender. Romance blossoms differently in the digital realm.

  Aries

  21 Mar – 19 Apr

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  Your favourite pair of socks will mysteriously vanish, only to reappear as a hat on a passing pigeon.

  Taurus

  20 Apr – 20 May

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  Don't worry, the pile of dishes in the sink is not as dirty as you think.

  Gemini

  21 May – 20 Jun

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  Today you discover a hidden talent for creating bloodthirsty zombies.

  Cancer

  21 Jun – 22 Jul

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  You will experience an intense desire to climb a tree today. Ignore this impulse unless you are an actual monkey. Trees are for climbing, but also for respecting.

  Leo

  23 Jul – 22 Aug

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  You will receive a cryptic message from a long-lost relative claiming you are the heir to a vast fortune in a faraway land. Before you pack your bags, make sure to verify the legitimacy of this claim.

  Virgo

  23 Aug – 22 Sep

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  Today you will see a black panther peeking inside your house

  Libra

  23 Sep – 22 Oct

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  Have you ever wanted to be a cat? Now's your chance!

  Scorpio

  23 Oct – 21 Nov

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  If you're an actor, now is the time to get a headshot.

  Sagittarius

  22 Nov – 21 Dec

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  Today you will accidentally turn around

  Capricorn

  22 Dec – 19 Jan

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  The concept of time is an illusion, so don't bother showing up for work.

  Aquarius

  20 Jan – 18 Feb

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  A random street sign will give you profound philosophical insights today.

  Pisces

  19 Feb – 20 Mar