Sunday, May 5, 2024
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Today you will wake up and your first thought will be happy birthday to me.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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If you find a wandering duck in your vicinity today, try to avoid renaming it "Jeff" and insisting it is your new best friend. Some things are best in their natural state.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will finally understand what being bored is all about
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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You dream about having a bowl cut and being a powerful wizard.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Hear the water whispering beneath the seafloor
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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You have a special someone in your life who truly cares about you. Except that person is a narcissistic parrot who actually doesn't give a damn about you. But you already know that.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today you will spot a quite fat pigeon and will feel an inexplicable desire to pat its head
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Your fingers are crossed..
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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An elderly relative will give you a box of old photographs today.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Topple a domino today
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Your secret is safe with the lettuce.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Beware of rogue pigeons attempting to steal your lunch today.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
