Friday, May 3, 2024
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Don't be alarmed when your sofa cushions start attacking you.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You'll pinch yourself until you feel like you're dreaming
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will try out a new brand of ice cream and will not try any others
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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The weather will be beautiful in your neck of the woods today.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Don't step on the broken glass, it might cut your feet.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Visit a fortune teller
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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You'll soon have to decide whether you want to be a #GBBO or a #MKR.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You will receive an invitation to a party today that you cannot attend. Fake an illness to save face. Your excuse will be greatly exaggerated, but hey, better safe than sorry.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today is a good day for public transportation, especially for people wearing period costumes.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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A friendly dog will have an adventure with you today.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today you'll start craving strawberries and meet up with your bromance partner to decorate a hay barn for a romantic picnic and CRAZY the crazy sauces and textures ARE THAT GOOD.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Your critics are just jealous of your success. Remember that the next time they accuse you of not knowing how to correctly use a fork.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
