Wacky Horoscopes — Sagittarius, April 24, 2024

You'll be visited the ghost of your future self, who is very concerned about you.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

You are feeling a little under the weather, but that's just the atmosphere.

20 Apr – 20 May

Today you will have the power of telepathy. Use it to make a duckface at that guy who cut you off in traffic.

21 May – 20 Jun

The wind will powerfully whip through your hair, effectively blinding you for a moment. You'll curse the wind but appreciate the sensation.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

All of your candles are repayments for past debts. Enjoy the brief fluorescence.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

You will receive an unexpected proposal today, and you will be forced to choose between two equally good options. Choose the third option.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

The office funny man is just jealous of your new shirt. Wear it with pride.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

You will have an unexpected dream about an old friend you haven't seen in years. Reach out to them and reconnect, regardless of the passage of time.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

Wake up, and enjoy your new daydream

22 Nov – 21 Dec

You'll keep mistaking your hair dryer for a retro space-age jetpack. Put it to good use making an urgent escape.

22 Dec – 19 Jan

Today you will accidentally turn your shower into a portal to a tropical island. Enjoy the impromptu vacation!

20 Jan – 18 Feb

It's always good to have a plan, unless you're a procrastinator, in which case it's better to not have a plan maybe.

19 Feb – 20 Mar