Wacky Horoscopes — Scorpio, April 23, 2024

Don't get discouraged if your yodelling career doesn't take off. Yodelling is a difficult and dying art form, that only a few can master.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.

20 Apr – 20 May

Today you will forget to close your front door on your way out, and you know that you'll have to hide from the police

21 May – 20 Jun

You will encounter a group of dancing penguins who insist on teaching you their moves.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

Today you will be given a pack of puppy dogs to look after.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

If you can read this, you are too close to the television.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Today you will fart on stage at a performance and give up music forever

23 Sep – 22 Oct

You have an admirer, and they're really good at hiding it.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

A bear will stop your ladder climbing today.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

It's a good day to ask for that promotion you always wanted.

22 Dec – 19 Jan

You have a tiger in your basement.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

You will make a close friend today who is also a pillow.

19 Feb – 20 Mar