Friday, April 19, 2024
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Eurovision fans know Ukraine 2007 is the bee's knees, elimination of doubts imminent.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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A group of small birds will impart ancient wisdom upon you today. Unfortunately for you, they will do so in bird language, and you will only understand the word 'tweet'. Try to tweet wisely.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Resist the siren song of the glitter aisle today. Unless you desperately need glitter, in which case, by all means, buy as much as your heart desires. But be prepared to find it everywhere for the next five years.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Celebrate with a Cancer
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you will be thrust into a dual universe where everything is made of stone, and there will be no change
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Today, you will find yourself inexplicably drawn to a garage sale, where you'll uncover a peculiar antique teapot.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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You will invent a new word and start using it in everyday conversation. "Flibbertigibbet" is a great place to start.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Make use of your morning commute to listen to kazoo remixes of Wagner
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today you will have the urge to howl at the moon, but remember to wag your tail afterward to show you're friendly.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Hug a yellow Labrador
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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The next person to compliment you will be a secret agent from an alternate dimension. They will try to communicate with you using only Beatles songs. Listen carefully.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Ever wanted to go on a blind date? Well, they're not all bad. Just remember to wear your glasses.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
