Friday, April 12, 2024

• 

  There is a bear in your closet. But do not worry, because he is a friendly bear.

  Aries

  21 Mar – 19 Apr

• 

  Today you will suddenly feel a desire to clean up your garden and will start digging a hole

  Taurus

  20 Apr – 20 May

• 

  Your car will transform into a sentient robot and demand a road trip.

  Gemini

  21 May – 20 Jun

• 

  A missed connection on public transportation will lead to a tragic unrequited love. Someone will catch your eye across a crowded bus, but they will never get off at your stop.

  Cancer

  21 Jun – 22 Jul

• 

  At the club tonight, spin the wheel of destiny for amazing cosplay costumes

  Leo

  23 Jul – 22 Aug

• 

  Don't forget your dentist appointment later today. You did put it into your calendar didn't you?

  Virgo

  23 Aug – 22 Sep

• 

  Your favourite pair of shoes will mysteriously start tap dancing whenever you wear them.

  Libra

  23 Sep – 22 Oct

• 

  In the vast universe of dog owners, you will be crowned the Patron Saint of Pug Parents. Your adorable Instagram posts and comedic anecdotes about your pug's antics will garner a loyal following.

  Scorpio

  23 Oct – 21 Nov

• 

  Today you will buy yourself a plane ticket to London, and then forget about it once you get there

  Sagittarius

  22 Nov – 21 Dec

• 

  Nope, I got nothing

  Capricorn

  22 Dec – 19 Jan

• 

  You will discover a new found talent for belching the alphabet. Today is not the day to try this out on a first date.

  Aquarius

  20 Jan – 18 Feb

• 

  Always carry a bandana with you, you never know when you'll need to make a quick western.

  Pisces

  19 Feb – 20 Mar