Wednesday, March 20, 2024
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Today you will accidentally turn your shower into a portal to a tropical island. Enjoy the impromptu vacation!
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You have always wanted to try paragliding. Today is the day.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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You will finally finish that project you've been putting off for so long.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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You will find yourself transported to a parallel universe where everyone wears tuxedos
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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All cats are smart, but some cats are too smart for their own good.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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You will be asked to eat an extra one hundred calories today, but it will be worth it.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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When you glance in the mirror today, you will notice that you have grown a handsome mustache overnight. Unfortunately, the mustache will be just mere millimeters long, causing you to question if it's really there at all.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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The first raindrop of the season will land on your nose.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today you will accidentally turn your bathtub into a jacuzzi filled with spaghetti.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Beware the lurkers lurking in parking lots and always keep an eye out for space lions.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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A squirrel will steal your sandwich right out of your hands.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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If someone asks you if you are a human, you should respond with "I'm not sure yet."
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
