Tuesday, March 19, 2024
-
Your love life is about to get interesting, a new situationship is at the bowling alley or duck pond.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
-
Whack a psychedelic Gog
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
-
Beware! rogue cantaloupes plotting evil schemes.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
-
Find that your crush just can't take a hint; they will invite you to a midnight wedding. SELFIE.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
-
If you can afford to have your friends over for a big cookout, then consider doing so! Having people around with good food is always a plus.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
-
The sea will call out to you, and you will answer.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
-
From cultivating a discerning palate to embracing the ritual of moderation, your journey toward mindful imbibing will be a source of tranquility and pleasure.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
-
Today you will realize it's the opening day of spring semester and you're unprepared
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
-
Let the bossy people of the world know that you are not to be trifled with. Show them your smile, while making sure to give them a serious and low tone of voice. They'll never forget it.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
-
Today you will encounter a group of synchronized cows performing a ballet in the middle of a field.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
-
Try not to get between a moose and its Essen ale.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
-
Today you will be confronted by a bat after realizing you've missed the last bus home
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
