Wacky Horoscopes — Scorpio, March 18, 2024

It is okay to say no. But today, you should say yes. Then you will say no.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

There is a bear in your closet. But do not worry, because he is a friendly bear.

20 Apr – 20 May

Today you'll suddenly feel like taking a break from the fast-paced modern world. Remember to embrace the moment.

21 May – 20 Jun

Move a mountain at the snap of your fingers today.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

Today you will be forcefully teleported to a different dimension

23 Jul – 22 Aug

If your hand's bigger than a lobster's, you're in for a shock.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

You will receive a call from a number you don't recognise.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

It's said that we are our own past and future. If that's the case, you should be an exceptionally good liar.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

What's that thumping noise? It's an eastern philosophy professor on a rampage, trying to exterminate every concept in sight.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's when you know you've been reading too much astrological forecasts.

22 Dec – 19 Jan

A bat will fly into your home through the window today.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

You have an outhouse in your backyard.

19 Feb – 20 Mar